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1997 Fools: Internet Television Network Announced
Path: mindspring!news.mindspring.com!not-for-mail From: robbie@tomservo.mindspring.com (Robbie Honerkamp) Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.misc,alt.internet.media-coverage,misc.news.internet.discuss Subject: Internet Television Network Announced Date: 1 Apr 1997 10:36:50 GMT Organization: Society for the Prevention of Technical Harassment Lines: 81 Message-ID: <5hqog2$6cm@camel4.mindspring.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: tomservo.eng.mindspring.net X-Real-Newsreader: Dave Hayes PsychicNews Version 0.234/3*592+5-6alpha X-Newsreader: TIN [UNIX 1.3 950824BETA PL0] Xref: mindspring news.admin.net-abuse.misc:188929 alt.internet.media-coverage:24821 misc.news.internet.discuss:6303 INTERNET TELEVISION NETWORK TO DEBUT ATLANTA, GA, 1 April 1997 Turner Entertainment Group expanded it's cable channel offerings today with the announcment of the Internet Television Network. ITN will offer programming aimed at heavy Internet users. Initial programming for the channel will consist of original shows based on famous net.happenings and net.personalities. ITN chairman Fred Beamer said that traditional television programming hasn't reached the typical Internet user. "These people come from a different culture. According to Neilson Rating results, shows that do well with the general populace earn abyssmal ratings with groups who have more than five computers in the household, Beamer said. "We consider these groups to be the 'great unreached'". ITN has already signed deals with several major cable companies, including Cox and MediaOne. Operation is set to begin on 31 April 1997. Reaction from other media giants was swift. Rupert Murdoch issued an immediate statement claiming bias in ITVs initial programming. "The programs offered seem to ridicule those who hold opinions that aren't popular, technically correct, or coherent. I am planning a competing network that will allow True Free Broadcasting. The Freedom Network will debut sometime before the end of time. It will offer free and equal access to all. Unlike other networks, who are controlled by the Broadcasting Cabal, our network will NEVER cancel television shows. Murdoch was then returned to his padded room. NBC, CBS, and ABC did not return repeated calls for comment. ITV's initial lineup will include the following shows: -"Eh, Hoser??", Tuesdays, 8pm Bob Allisat discusses how much better Canada is than the USA. Special guests: Bob and Doug Mackenzie. Programming note: This discussion will be simulcast on all other channels as well. -"Boiled Nuts", Tuesdays, 8:05pm What happens when four of the wackiest net.kooks move in together? Starring Steve Boursy, Grubor, Jai, and "Doctor" Vulis. Tonight's eposode: New neighbor Serdar Argic believes Grubor is an Armenian butcher when he's seen eating a turkey sandwich. Hilarity ensues. -"How To Make A Million, Jillion, Gazillion Bucks", Tuesdays, 9pm Lawrence Canter moves to a beautiful new apartment in Toronto, but quickly runs afoul of his new landlord, Chris Lewis. -"a.out", Wednesdays, 8pm Three developers from the Linux Kernel Dev. list move in together. Tonight, the three get into a tussle over Java binary support. -"diskcopy a: a:", Wednesdays, 9pm C@N @ K-R@D 3133T D00D M@K3 1T 1N TH3 F@$T P@C3D W0R1D 0F S0FTW@R3 D3V310PM3NT? G00D 013 B1FF ST@R$ A$ @N 3l33T W@R3Z D00D WH0 G3TZ H1R3D BY M1CR0$0FT. -"Nightly News", Weekdays, 6pm With host Kibo. -"Dave Hayes Psychic Newsreader Network", infomercial -"Technology Today", Saturday, 8pm Tonight: Jim Fleming explains how IPv8/EDNS will overshadow IPv6, and prevent the Imminent Death Of The Net. In a special cooking segment, Bob Metcalfe demonstrates his delicious recipe for crow. -"The History Of The Internet", Saturday, 9pm Tonight: A profile of Bill Gates and how he created the Internet in his spare time after inventing the Graphical User Interface. -"Spanking For Dollars" Saturday, 10pm Your Host: Martin Hannigan. Tonight's guests are John Grubor and Steven Boursy. Robbie
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