1997 Fools: HMOs Name Jack Kevorkian to Oversee ADA Enforcement
From sndrake@MAILBOX.SYR.EDU Tue Apr  1 09:44:40 1997
Date: Tue, 1 Apr 1997 09:38:42 -0500
From: "Stephen N. Drake" <sndrake@MAILBOX.SYR.EDU>
Subject: HMOs Name Jack Kevorkian to Oversee ADA Enforcement

April 1, 1997:

Detroit, Michigan:

   HMO officials convened a press conference to announce the naming of
Jack Kevorkian to oversee American with Disabilities Act (ADA) enforcement
for the health care organizations nationwide.  In a rare joint effort,
officials acknowledged that there has been legitimate criticism of the way
HMOs treat the disabled and elderly.

   Explaining this sudden and bold initiative, HMO spokesperson D. Ed

Weight said, "we have been impressed with Dr. Kevorkian's sensitivity to
the needs of persons in need of assistance in taking charge of their own
health care.  We believe he will be able to help ensure that we can remain
the cost-effective organizations we try to be, while helping the
disadvantaged free themselves from unwanted, expensive health care and
community supports.  These new efforts in facilitating empowerement are,
we believe, in keeping with the letter and spirit of the ADA."

   Kevorkian is reported to be looking forward to helping growing numbers
of disabled and chronically ill HMO patients to move forward in a bold new
arena of patients' rights.  He feels it is only fitting that the same
organizations that are tightening the reins on treatment options provide
new options for disappointed patients.

   Asked what he would do with the money earned in his new position
Kevorkian expressed the intent of buying a school bus to replace his
battered van.  He intends to decorate it with his artwork as a parting
gift to the patients he assists.

Please note that April 1 is commonly known as APRIL FOOLS DAY

Stephen Drake - Not Dead Yet - http://acils.com/NotDeadYet