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1996 Fools: PC TURNS THE WORLD UPSIDE-DOWN
PC TURNS THE WORLD UPSIDE-DOWN LOS ANGELES, CA -- In a bold move, proponents of political correctness have branched out from language to geography in their quest to change people's basic assumptions about the world. "We mean nothing less than literally turning the world upside down" the Reverend Jesse Jackson said at a press conference last night. Jackson, recently back from a series of protests against the Academy Awards, stated that the new focus of the PC movement was more than justified. "Clearly, the very view of the world that our children are taught is Euro-centric," Jackson explained to those in attendance. "The original explorers and mappers of our planet, being white, saw nothing wrong with placing England above Africa; the United States above South America. That must change." Proponents of the Politicially Correct world view have asked that maps, globes and other instruments of geography be turned upside down in all classrooms in order to teach children to view all nations equally. Jackson stated that the popular continental orientation to which most people have grown accustomed must be changed because it fosters a view that nations of minority are subordinate to largely-caucasian nations. "It is time for people of European descent to recognize that they must let go of their Old World view in order for true equality to be attained." Members of various scientific disciplines expressed either displeasure or disbelief at the proposal. Nearly all declined to comment on the proposal, citing potential political backlash. A source at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), who spoke on the condition of anonymity, considered the proposal to be "some kind of joke." "They should also take into account the 180-degree orbital shift. You can try to turn the world upside down for whatever reason, but the universe will continue just as it always has." Another member of an undisclosed planetary society put it another way. "All any political pundit is interested in is turning the world on its ear." ROLF PIALO -- DISSOCIATED PRESS "All the news that fits, we print."