1996 Fools: PC TURNS THE WORLD UPSIDE-DOWN
PC TURNS THE WORLD UPSIDE-DOWN
LOS ANGELES, CA -- In a bold move, proponents of political
correctness have branched out from language to geography
in their quest to change people's basic assumptions about
the world.
"We mean nothing less than literally turning the world
upside down" the Reverend Jesse Jackson said at a press
conference last night. Jackson, recently back from a
series of protests against the Academy Awards, stated that
the new focus of the PC movement was more than justified.
"Clearly, the very view of the world that our children are
taught is Euro-centric," Jackson explained to those in
attendance. "The original explorers and mappers of our
planet, being white, saw nothing wrong with placing England
above Africa; the United States above South America. That
must change."
Proponents of the Politicially Correct world view have
asked that maps, globes and other instruments of geography
be turned upside down in all classrooms in order to teach
children to view all nations equally.
Jackson stated that the popular continental orientation to
which most people have grown accustomed must be changed
because it fosters a view that nations of minority are
subordinate to largely-caucasian nations. "It is time for
people of European descent to recognize that they must let
go of their Old World view in order for true equality to
be attained."
Members of various scientific disciplines expressed either
displeasure or disbelief at the proposal. Nearly all
declined to comment on the proposal, citing potential
political backlash.
A source at the National Aeronautics and Space
Administration (NASA), who spoke on the condition of
anonymity, considered the proposal to be "some kind of joke."
"They should also take into account the 180-degree orbital
shift. You can try to turn the world upside down for
whatever reason, but the universe will continue just as it
always has."
Another member of an undisclosed planetary society put it
another way. "All any political pundit is interested in
is turning the world on its ear."
ROLF PIALO -- DISSOCIATED PRESS
"All the news that fits, we print."
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