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1994 Fools: MICROSOFT Organizational Changes 04/1/94
[ Archive note: FYI, Microsoft just reorganized its corporate structure, hence the humour.] FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE MICROSOFT Organizational Changes 04/1/94 REDMOND, WA, 1994 APR 1 (NB) -- MICROSOFT announced today another sweeping corporate reorganization designed to better meet their customers needs. "With nearly 15,000 worldwide employees the current arbitrary distribution of resources by skills and interests no longer makes good business sense," said Mike Maples, Executive Vice President. "We need to simplify our internal structure to facilitate product synergy." When employees return to work on Monday, they will find that the 25 main campus buildings are no longer numbered 1 to 25 but will instead be labeled with letters of the alphabet from A to Y. "Our broad product line and well trained workforce makes the new organization work," said Pete Higgins, Senior Vice President. Under the new "Alphabetical" structure, employees will simply report to the appropriate building based on the first letter of their last name, to work on the products which also begin with that letter. "I always wanted to work on Word and now I'm going to get my chance," said Bart Wojciehowski, currently a product support technician. "I'm really excited about the reorg," said Chris Peters, Vice President of the newly created Powerpoint, Project, Publisher, Profit, Purchasing, and PR product unit. Included in the reorganization is a reduction in force of approximately 7% of Microsoft's employees. "We never built Building 7 so the G's have got to go. Likewise, we just don't have room for the Z's. Cutbacks like this are a necessary part of the highly competitive computer software industry," said Mike Murray, Vice President of Human Resources. Unfortunately, this eliminates the role of the Company founder and long time visionary, Bill Gates. When reached for comment, Bill said, "Hey, I've got no complaints, I made a lot of money." Founded in 1975, MICROSOFT (NASDAQ "MSFT") is the worldwide leader in software for personal computers. The company offers a wide range of products and services for business and personal use, each designed with the mission of making it easier and more enjoyable for people to take advantage of the full power of personal computing every day.