1994 Fools: MICROSOFT Organizational Changes 04/1/94
[ Archive note: FYI, Microsoft just reorganized its corporate structure, 
hence the humour.]

MICROSOFT  Organizational Changes 04/1/94

REDMOND, WA, 1994 APR 1 (NB) -- MICROSOFT announced today another 
sweeping corporate reorganization designed to better meet their 
customers needs. "With nearly 15,000 worldwide employees the current 
arbitrary distribution of resources by skills and interests no longer 
makes good business sense," said Mike Maples, Executive Vice President. 
"We need to simplify our internal structure to facilitate product synergy."

When employees return to work on Monday, they will find that the 25 
main campus buildings are no longer numbered 1 to 25 but will instead 
be labeled with letters of the alphabet from A to Y. "Our broad product 
line and well trained workforce makes the new organization work," said 
Pete Higgins, Senior Vice President.

Under the new "Alphabetical" structure, employees will simply report to 
the appropriate building based on the first letter of their last name, 
to work on the products which also begin with that letter. "I always 
wanted to work on Word and now I'm going to get my chance," said Bart 
Wojciehowski, currently a product support technician. "I'm really 
excited about the reorg," said Chris Peters, Vice President of the 
newly created Powerpoint, Project, Publisher, Profit, Purchasing, and 
PR product unit.

Included in the reorganization is a reduction in force of approximately 
7% of Microsoft's employees. "We never built Building 7 so the G's have 
got to go. Likewise, we just don't have room for the Z's. Cutbacks like 
this are a necessary part of the highly competitive computer software 
industry," said Mike Murray, Vice President of Human Resources. 
Unfortunately, this eliminates the role of the Company founder and long 
time visionary, Bill Gates. When reached for comment, Bill said, "Hey, 
I've got no complaints, I made a lot of money."

  Founded in 1975, MICROSOFT (NASDAQ "MSFT") is the worldwide leader in 
software for personal computers.  The company offers a wide range of 
products and services for business and personal use, each designed with 
the mission of making it easier and more enjoyable for people to take 
advantage of the full power of personal computing every day.