|Home The Net Comics Links Stories Buy Stuff|
1999 Fools: Internet Cleaning
Subject: Joke: Internet Cleaning Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 10:27:54 -0500 Internet Cleaning Notice ======================== DO NOT CONNECT TO THE INTERNET FROM 31-MAR-99 23:59 (GMT) UNTIL 02-APR-99 00:01 (GMT) *** Attention *** It's that time again! As many of you know, each year the Internet must be shut down for 24 hours in order to allow us to clean it. The cleaning process, which eliminates dead email and inactive ftp, www and gopher sites, allows for a better-working and faster Internet. This year, the cleaning process will take place from 31-MAR-99 23:59 (GMT) until 02-APR-99 00:01 (GMT). During that 24-hour period, five powerful Internet-crawling robots situated around the world will search the Internet and delete any expired data that they find. In order to protect your valuable data from deletion we ask that you do the following: 1. Delete your own expired data prior to 31-MAR-99. This will make our job much easier. 2. Mark each file that you wish to protect with the extension ".DND" which stands for "Do Not Delete". (Be sure to mark EVERY file on your hard disk, as the robots are actually not that powerful or smart. You may reassign their original 3 letter extensions on 02-APR-99. Be sure to run Windows REGEDIT to do this important step.) 3. Refrain from connecting any computer to the Internet in any way during the cleaning period. (This includes logging into AOL, for which we have designated one very special and powerful robot, specially programmed to look for pornographic and get-rich-quick offers.) We understand the inconvenience that this may cause some Internet users, and we apologize. However, we are certain that any inconveniences will be more than made up for by the increased speed and efficiency of the Internet, once it has been cleared of electronic flotsam and jetsam. We thank you for your cooperation. Fu Ling Yu Interconnected Network Maintenance Staff Main Branch, Massachusetts Institute of Technology IS Managers and Domain Managers: Since the last Internet cleaning, the number of Internet users has grown dramatically. Please assist us in alerting the public to the upcoming Internet cleaning by posting this message where your users will be able to read it. Please pass this message on to other IS managers Internet users as well. Thank you.