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1997 Fools: NETSCAPE HR ANNOUNCES NEW CONTAINER POLICY
From email@example.com Wed Apr 2 14:31:35 1997 Received: from churchy.gnu.ai.mit.edu by albert.gnu.ai.mit.edu (8.6.12/8.6.12GNU) with ESMTP id OAA00929; Wed, 2 Apr 1997 14:31:25 -0500 Received: by churchy.gnu.ai.mit.edu (8.6.12/8.6.12GNU) id OAA13690 for meditation-list; Wed, 2 Apr 1997 14:12:41 -0500 Received: from netscape.com by churchy.gnu.ai.mit.edu (8.6.12/8.6.12GNU) with ESMTP id OAA13687 for <firstname.lastname@example.org>; Wed, 2 Apr 1997 14:12:34 -0500 Received: from dredd.mcom.com (dredd.mcom.com [22.214.171.124]) by netscape.com (8.8.5/8.8.5) with ESMTP id LAA14631 for <email@example.com>; Wed, 2 Apr 1997 11:12:47 -0800 (PST) Received: from interzone ([126.96.36.199]) by dredd.mcom.com (Netscape Mail Server v2.02) with SMTP id AAA27947; Wed, 2 Apr 1997 11:12:47 -0800 Sender: firstname.lastname@example.org (Mark Welch) Message-ID: <3342AFB6.41C6@netscape.com> Date: Wed, 02 Apr 1997 11:12:54 -0800 From: Mark Welch >email@example.com> Organization: Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow X-Mailer: Mozilla 3.01 (X11; I; IRIX 6.2 IP22) MIME-Version: 1.0 To: Me <firstname.lastname@example.org> Subject: Too late for April 1, but still... Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Status: R I was too busy sleeping off my all-night last-minute beta 3 bug fixing episode to finish this yesterday, so as a consolation prize to me, you all can see what I had in mind to send yesterday. Have fun --mark ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: New HR Policy - READ THIS Date: Tue, 01 Apr 1997 08:35:56 -0800 From: Jim Barksdale <email@example.com> To: firstname.lastname@example.org I am sending this message to you personally, because of its importance to the organization as a whole. I hope that with this policy in place, all of you will be empowered to create and sell even more "killer" products! JB NETSCAPE HR ANNOUNCES NEW CONTAINER POLICY Given the recent mass suicide in Rancho Santa Fe, and their documented link to the Internet and Web development (as reported by CNN and other reputable news agencies), and given the continued proximity of the Hale-Bopp comet, Netscape HR has decided to adopt a new set of guidelines regarding the "disposal of containers" on the Middlefield campus. Netscape employees who wish to join up with alien spacecraft are advised to do so during late evening hours, so that the cleaning crews will be able to dispose of the empty container before it begins to create a hostile work environment. As a courtesy to Netscape staff, the Engineering Pit in building 685-2 will be set up with proper facilities (apple sauce, pudding, phenobarbitol and opiates, and purple triangular shrouds) to help the spiritually worthy traveler to begin his or her journey. Groups of 20 or more are encouraged to secure off-site facilities for their planned exodus through Heaven's Gate. And now, reserving that Portola Valley mansion for parties and "other occasions" is a snap with LesConcierges! Just call x8351 and our dedicated staff will make all the arrangements for "that special getaway!" On a more somber note, since our studies have shown that Internet-related suicides seem to occur in large groups and focus around intelligent aliens, Mozilla will be decommissioned as the Netscape mascot as of April 10th. In its place, we will introduce Fluffy the Poodle, whose perky demeanor and neurotically wagging tail demonstrate Netscape's relentless, round-the-clock commitment to painfully exact standards of software quality. HR personnel will be conducting a walkthrough of Middlefield Road facilities to make sure that all traces of Mozilla have been removed, in order to ensure a more pleasant and productive environment. For those of you wanting to learn more about using phenobarbitol and opiates as a tool to meet alien spacecraft, or just to see God in general, a pilot class session will be held on April 31st, in order to gauge the level of employee interest in container disposal. For more information, contact our Container Disposal Consultant, James Jones, at x8531. PS For those of you who are humor impaired: This is an April Fools joke. Or, it would have been, had I completed it on time.