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1997 Fools: Internet Cleaning

Subject:      ATTENTION: NOTICE!!!
From:         Wendy aka Classact <classact@avana.net>
Date:         1997/04/01
Message-Id:   <199704011705.MAA18442@tiger.avana.net>
Newsgroups:   alt.med.fibromyalgia

I'm passing this along to you in the event you didn't receive it
from other sources.

  In my effort to keep everyone (especially the new people)
informed of internet administrivia:

To: All Internet Users

From: Kim Dereksen
      Interconnected Network Maintenance staff
      Main branch, Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Subject:  Internet Cleaning


As many of you know, each year the internet must be shut down for 24

hours in order to allow us to clean it.  The cleaning process, which
eliminates dead e-mail and inactive ftp, www and gopher sites, allows
for a better-working and faster internet.

This year, the cleaning process will take place from 12:01 a.m.
GMT on April 1 until 12:01 a.m. GMT on April 2.  During that
24-hour period, five very powerful Japanese built multi-lingual
internet-crawling robots (Toshiba ML-2274) situated around the
world will search the internet and delete any data that they

In order to protect your valuable data from deletion we ask that
you do the following:

1. Disconnect all terminals and local area networks from their
   internet connections.

2. Shut down all internet servers, or disconnect them from the

3. Disconnect all disks and hardrives from any connections to the

4. Refrain from connecting any computer to the internet in any

5. Avoid placing operating microwave ovens or toaster/toaster
   ovens near your computer modem.

6. Avoid wearing nylon (or other dielectric fiber) undergarments
   because of the possibility of electrical discharge.

We understand the inconvenience that this may cause some internet
users, and we apologize.  However, we are certain that any
inconvenience will be more than made up for by the increased speed and
efficiency of the internet, once it has been cleared of electronic
flotsam and jetsam.

We thank you for your cooperation.

Kim Dereksen
Interconnected Network Maintenance staff
Main branch, Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Sysops and others:  Since the last internet cleaning, the number
of internet users has grown dramatically.  Please assist us in
alerting the public of the upcoming internet cleaning by posting
this message where your users will be able to read it.  Please
pass this message on to other sysops and internet users as well.
Thank you.

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