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1997 Fools: HIGHER SOURCE RAISES STAKES IN INTERNET INDUSTRY


 #: 63207 S17/Just the Myths, Ma'am  [KEYCHAT]
     12-Jul-97  15:47:01
 Sb: Daily Myth (07-12)
 Fm: 'Go Graphics' Agent 72662,47
 To: All

Daily Myth for Saturday, 07-12-1997, drawn from a growing base
of 68 quality urban myths and stories from all over the world!

Feel free to reply with yours - we'll get them included in our agent
for posterity, and your post counts towards our Frequent Contributor
contest (see CONTRIB.TXT in the library for details)!

-=-

HIGHER SOURCE RAISES STAKES IN INTERNET INDUSTRY
by Charles Forsythe

REDMOND -- Microsoft Corporation has announced plans to acquire the
Website and Internet development corporation Higher Source for an
undisclosed fee. "Higher Source has proven its commitment to strange
mind-control cults and UFO religions," said Microsoft spokeswoman, Anita
Klue,"Their willingness to kill themselves for the sake of their
technology is the kind of dynamic that Microsoft wants to promote."

In conjunction with the acquisition, Microsoft announced a new program
called "Active Cult 97", which is expected to be in place by late 1998.
Active Cult aims to make the use of Microsoft technology more of a
religion-driven decision as opposed to a technology-driven decision.
"This isn't expected to be a big change for Microsoft's customer base,"
explained Ms. Klue.

Details of Active Cult were not disclosed, but it was suggested that
instead of crashing with the infamous "blue screen of death" or "General
Protection Fault", Microsoft's operating systems would merely display
the message "Windows died for your sins."

Mike S. Brown, who writes about the industry in his PC Weak column "M.S.
Brown Knows" responded enthusiastically to the announcement. "This
really raises the stakes for Internet development. IBM may be content to
kill its own products, like OS/2, but Microsoft is willing to kill its
own developers and maybe even some customers. That's the kind of bold
difference that will make UNIX, OS/2 and the Mac completely irrelevant
by the end of 1996!" When is was pointed out that 1996 was already over,
Mr. Brown retorted,"No it's not! If it was, then Microsoft would be
behind schedule on Windows 97 -- which it isn't."

An IBM employee, who asked to remain anonymous due to the fact that the
whole issue was "extremely silly," said that "IBM is committed to the
future of network computing and OS/2 is an important part of that
future." He added that,"IBM is not interested in promoting suicide. If
you want to talk about promoting suicide, talk to Microsoft's ISVs. Can
you say `Citrix'?"

Reaction amongst Windows users was generally positive. Ben de Miover,
CIO for a large company which recently switched its operations from the
Apple MacIntosh to Windows 95, explained,"Windows is really cool because
you can play Quake in, like, a window and stuff." He also cited a
complete lack of Windows 95 applications for the MacIntosh. "How can
modern business function without Windows 95 applications.

Y'know, like Quake?" In addition, he was pretty sure that OS/2 and UNIX
were "new wave bands from L.A."

Linus Torvalds was unavailable for comment.

[Note - as was the representative from Higher Source - ed]

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