1995 Fools: TidBITS#270/01-Apr-95
TidBITS#270/01-Apr-95
=====================

Welcome once again to yet another issue of TidBITS. This week
   brings you some irrelevant articles about topics you probably
   don't give a damn about. In fact, just pack it up and don't
   read this issue. Go outside, get some sun, and have a life,
   okay? You probably need the disk space anyway, and besides,
   I was sick last week, so you might come down with a nasty
   throat infection coupled with a cold if you're exposed to
   this file. Sniff.

This issue of TidBITS sponsored in part by:
* The letter "I" and the number "0"
   Without which none of your I/O subsystems would work.
* Worst of the Web -- http://turnpike.net/metro/mirsky/Worst.html
   Perpetuating user disorientation since, well, about January.
* Useless WWW Pages Hall of Fame -- Celebrating Inanity
   http://www.primus.com/staff/paulp/useless/hall-of-fame.html
* Human Internet Relay -- Some of the best runners in the world
   bringing you packets one step at a time.

Copyright 1990-1995 Adam & Tonya Engst. Details at end of issue.
   Information: <info@tidbits.com> Comments: <editors@tidbits.com>
   ---------------------------------------------------------------

Topics:
    MailBITS/01-Apr-95
    Microsoft to Corner Floppy Market?
    Assault and Battery
    OpenDoc Suckers
    C What I Mean?
    SimWord
    Newt's Grand Old Party
    Reviews/01-Apr-95

ftp://ftp.tidbits.com/pub/tidbits/issues/1995/TidBITS#270_01-Apr-95.etx


MailBITS/01-Apr-95
------------------

**Future of the Web?** -- I'd like to share an Internet utility
  that I think has great potential to help us break out of the rut
  that we've gotten into on the Web. Interlaced GIFs are all fine
  and nice, but tools like Nutscapify stand to really make a
  difference. I plan to use it for all of my Web pages in the
  future. As a sample, try the multiple line URL below. [ACE]

http://thule.mt.cs.cmu.edu:8001/cgi-bin/nutscapify?url=http%3A%2F%2Fhome.
netscape.com%2F&font=random&ol=none&blink=random&ul=off¢er=off&hr=off


**We'd Like to Thank The Academy** -- In a ceremony held in
  Hollywood early last week, TidBITS was presented with an Academy
  Award for Best Short Electronic Newsletter with Weird
  Capitalization Written Directly for the Internet. "Unfortunately,
  due to technical difficulties," said presenter Pierce Brosnan,
  "delivery of the award won't be possible until the Academy is
  satisfied that the award can be securely transferred over the
  Internet. There are a lot of people out there who'll go to any
  lengths to get their hands on one of these," he added, hefting the
  weighty statuette. TidBITS editor Adam Engst would have liked to
  have been present at the awards ceremony, but they wouldn't
  install a T-1 line and a Mac 660AV with a video camera up to the
  podium so he could watch with CU-SeeMe. [GD]


**What Me, Monopolize?** -- In a move that may ruffle the feathers
  of the FTC, Melinda French, the wife of Microsoft's billionaire
  owner Bill Gates, announced today that she intends to buy Compaq
  Computer for an undisclosed amount of cash and Microsoft stock.
  French said, "This is a personal investment, and should not in any
  way be viewed as an official Microsoft acquisition, and there will
  be no connection between Microsoft and Compaq" adding that she's
  wanted to own a PC hardware company "ever since I was a kid."
  Previously working in the same division that produced Microsoft
  Bob, Microsoft's so-called social interface, French said she just
  had "to get away from that damn rodent," and, "I've always used
  Compaq machines at work, and they seem to be pretty good."
  Nonetheless, analysts pointed at the immediate move by Compaq to
  install a Bob-friendly minimum of 32 MB of RAM in every computer
  sold.

  Justice Department chief Anne Bingaman, reached for comment at her
  home, said, "Frankly, I don't see the problem. If Melinda wants to
  buy Compaq, that's her business, and the Justice Department isn't
  going to harass her about any monopoly proceedings." Judge Sporkin
  refused to comment, but made irate gurgling noises. Rumor has it
  that the rest of the PC industry is considering merging in an
  effort to compete with what many view as a combined
  Microsoft/Compaq juggernaut. [ACE]


Microsoft to Corner Floppy Market?
----------------------------------
  by Geoff Duncan <geoff@tidbits.com>

  When released later this year, Windows 95 is expected to ship on
  24 to 28 high density floppy disks, and as a result, rumors have
  abounded that Microsoft is amassing huge quantities of floppies in
  anticipation of fulfilling millions of orders for the new
  operating system. This has led to speculation on the world-wide
  commodity markets that the release of Windows 95 may cause a
  floppy disk media shortage, causing prices for floppy media to
  increase.

  Microsoft officially refused to comment on this speculation.
  However, TidBITS managed to speak with a Microsoft program manager
  about the issue under conditions of anonymity. "Think about it,"
  our source said. "Wouldn't Microsoft want the price of floppy
  disks to be as high as possible when Windows 95 ships? If you need
  disks, then, the cheapest way to get them in bulk will be to
  **buy** a copy of Windows 95! It's definitely a market-saturation
  move." TidBITS managed to obtain an early copy of the Windows 95
  registration card. In addition to normal registration information,
  the card includes a checkbox to indicate "I bought Windows 95 just
  for the floppy disks."

  Microsoft tested the market-saturation idea earlier this year with
  its Macintosh products by releasing Microsoft Office on
  approximately 40 floppies and then continually delaying the CD
  version of Office containing the Power Mac-native version of Word
  6.0. "The feedback was less than positive," our source said, "but
  we think we'll get it right this time."

  In light of this information, TidBITS would like to applaud the
  efforts of America Online, which has been frantically sending
  multiple floppy disks free of charge to Mac, PC, and refrigerator
  owners for the last year. AOL has also attempted to prevent the
  floppy shortage by bundling disks with newsstand copies of
  Macworld, Byte, and Ladies Home Journal. In a related
  announcement, avant-garde artist Christo announced last week that
  he plans to tile the exterior of New York's Guggenheim Museum in
  Mac and PC versions of AOL disks. The proposed work is an
  impressionistic scene entitled "Washington Crossing the Internet."

  Information from:
    Christo Pink Plastic Foundation, Ltd.
    Pythaeus
    Tarot readings


Assault and Battery
-------------------
  by Mark H. Anbinder, News Editor <mha@baka.ithaca.ny.us>
     Director of Technical Inertia, Baka Industries Inc.

  In a move related to last week's announcement of free replacements
  for Apple's original M5140 PowerBook AC adapters, Apple announced
  that, effective 01-Apr-95, it will provide replacement batteries
  at no cost to certain PowerBook owners. This announcement follows
  the discovery that the batteries do not continue to provide
  electrical power to the PowerBook following more than a couple of
  consecutive hours of use.

  Reportedly, Apple has determined through extensive testing that,
  after a period ranging from one-and-a-half to four hours of
  typical use, the batteries shipped with the 100-series PowerBooks
  fail to keep the PowerBooks running. Symptoms of this failure
  range from the appearance of inconvenient dialog boxes to
  unexpected data loss when the PowerBook suddenly ceases to
  function.

  Apple engineers claim that this behavior can be expected from
  standard battery technology, but the company's public relations
  division felt that users were confused by the inconsistent supply
  of electricity from the batteries. "Users feel that a battery
  powered device simply ought to keep running," explained Jan
  Gesmar-Larsen, general manager of Apple Germany. When asked about
  the typical effective life of a standard Walkman battery, Larsen
  said, "That pink rabbit in the commercials just keeps on going,
  why can't PowerBooks?"

  Users who take advantage of this new customer satisfaction program
  will receive Apple's new "FusionPower" PowerBook battery product
  in exchange for their old battery. Different FusionPower models
  are available for the PowerBook 100, PowerBook 140-180 models,
  200-series PowerBook Duo models, and the current 500-series
  PowerBook models. Apple estimates that these power packs, based on
  a new hydrogen fusion technology, will provide the average user
  with 400 years of power on a PowerBook 100 or a Duo, and 750 years
  of power on other 100-series or any 500-series PowerBook.
  (Additional FusionPower batteries are available for 500-series
  PowerBook owners who wish to take advantage of the second battery
  compartment.)

  Because of the nature of the technology, Apple says that only
  certain PowerBook users qualify for this free battery replacement
  program. Owners in the United States must first apply for a
  license with the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and then send a
  notarized copy to Apple's Customer Assistance Center along with a
  lead-lined shipping carton. Outside the U.S., Apple recommends
  that users contact CERN in Geneva, Switzerland for appropriate
  licensing information. In addition, Apple warns that the
  FusionPower batteries must be stored in their plastic carrying
  cases. "If one of these suckers shorts out on a paper clip in your
  briefcase," said Larsen, "we might have to evacuate the
  surrounding city."

  Former Apple CEO John Sculley, an early tester of the FusionPower
  technology, was curiously unavailable for comment. A technical
  support representative at Apple's 800/SOS-APPL facility in Austin,
  Texas, asked about the procedures for replacement, replied, "Are
  you sure your PowerBook 170 is still in warranty?"

  Information from:
    Apple propaganda


OpenDoc Suckers
---------------
  by Tonya Engst <tonya@tidbits.com>

  Impatiently waiting for the wonders of OpenDoc? Wait no longer!
  You can now have your OpenDoc cake and eat it too. A software
  startup from Georgia has announced CodeSucker, a program that
  beats Apple to the OpenDoc punch. The company, Sucker Software,
  uses early OpenDoc technology and a patented coding technique.

  CodeSucker will list for $69, require System 7.5, and work on any
  Macintosh newer than the Plus (Sucker Software couldn't get around
  certain Plus ROM problems), although reports from beta sites
  indicate that it tends to be quirky when running on docked Duos
  (the MiniDock is fine, of course). Installed, the program consumes
  a mere 400K of disk space, and its minimum RAM allocation is 700K,
  but you can expect a minor increase (perhaps 5K) for every Feature
  module that you add, but with a cap of 10 percent per year above
  inflation, and a lifetime cap of 32 percent.


**Getting Started** -- To begin using CodeSucker, you use its
  Starter Control Panel to create a document - aptly named a Feature
  List - that lists the features you want to use with later with
  CodeSucker. Where do you get the features? You select them from
  software currently installed on your hard disk. CodeSucker looks
  into the code resources in your programs and creates a list of
  features, in much the same way that an AppleScript editor can see
  a list of AppleScript "commands" inside an application. For
  example, when I tried my review copy of CodeSucker, I sucked the
  Outline and Heading styles feature out of Word 5.1, the envelope
  printing feature from Now Contact, and the Transaction Register
  from Managing Your Money. (I was trying to create a humdinger of a
  billing system.)

  Because you can only create your Feature List from software
  installed on your hard disk, Sucker Software maintains that they
  have made a reasonable effort to avoid piracy problems, though a
  few issues remain. Lesly Smith, Sucker Software VP of Legal
  Affairs, estimated that Sucker Software's venture capital set
  aside for legal issues would last until "well past the year 2075."
  She also said that the company would pay for any legal costs
  incurred by its customers as a result of using CodeSucker Feature
  modules.

  After saving your Feature List, you send it to Sucker Software.
  The company's programmers (and yes, they are hiring in droves -
  email <jobs@sucker.com>), then use Code Sucker technology to suck
  out the code for features you want to use in CodeSucker. The code
  gets converted into a set of Feature modules, and the folks at
  Sucker Software guarantee a two week turn around time. (I got mine
  back in nine days along with a t-shirt that says in big letters,
  "Code Sucks" on the front and "Suck Code" on the back.)

  CodeSucker's interface lets you create most anything you'd like,
  within the confines of a Macintosh window. The CodeSucker
  interface is elegant, with a fruity nose, and somewhat strong oak
  overtones. My billing system worked wonderfully, and I feel as
  though I've been sucked into the Macintosh even further.


**Pricing** -- The $50 fee for CodeSucker includes the conversion
  of fifty-one features, with two free shipments of completed
  feature modules, and a free lollipop with each shipment.
  Additional features cost $1.57 each.

  Ordering additional modules is a bit quirky - due to the religious
  beliefs of the company's CEO, customers must always own an odd
  number of Feature modules. This relates to the philosophical
  belief that you should, "never give a sucker an even break." Plan
  to always order such that you end up with an odd number of
  modules, and add an extra dollar per module for any software older
  than three years.

  After your initial two rounds of free shipments, additional
  shipments cost $5.00 to customers in the U.S.; prices vary for
  other parts of the world. Expect prices in excess of $20 for
  shipments to Mars and other planets.


**Future Plans** -- CodeSucker currently only runs on the
  Macintosh, and your Feature modules must come from Mac software,
  even if you are running SoftWindows or a DOS Compatibility Card.
  Sucker Software does have cross-platform plans, with versions
  planned for OS/2 and the NeXT OS. (According to sources, Steve
  Jobs is a member of the company's board of directors.) Will Sucker
  Software develop a product for Windows? "Frankly," I was told by
  Marketing Manager Jim Smith, "according to our market research,
  there are few features in Windows programs that people want.
  However, Windows users are interested in a product that would port
  features from other platforms, and we are currently discussing how
  we might best implement such a product." Smith is optimistic about
  the company's future success. The way he sees it, "there's a
  customer born every minute."

    Sucker Software -- <info@sucker.com>


C What I Mean?
--------------
  by Geoff Duncan <geoff@tidbits.com>

  UrbanWerks Incorporated, a startup company based in the Cayman
  Islands with employees worldwide, today announced the immediate
  availability of its new Macintosh application development
  environment, Multimedia C++ 1.0. "This product marks a transition
  from the traditional software development model," says UrbanWerks
  chairman Ian P. Frehley. "It's geared toward the coming generation
  of Mac programmers who have been raised on multimedia and hi-res
  video games."

  "Kids today are bored with environments like MPW, Symantec C++, or
  CodeWarrior," Frehley explains. "What's cool about those products?
  Nothing! Look at their displays - they're boring! We try to make
  software development an engaging interactive experience." And
  indeed, Multimedia C++ is a radical departure from earlier
  development environments. For instance, compiler errors appear on
  screen as various scenarios. Attempting a build with a missing
  library might deposit the developer in an abandoned castle. How to
  overcome the error? Find the hidden key and unlock the wizard's
  tower. Performing a search and replace throughout a source tree
  becomes a seek-and-destroy commando scenario through a deviously
  clever maze. "Kids understand this stuff," Frehley explains.
  "These techniques greatly enhance their productivity as
  programmers." Indeed, one thirteen-year-old beta tester wrote a
  complete page layout program in a seven-hour session.

  Interactive scenarios aren't the only enhancements UrbanWerks has
  made. QuickTime videos featuring celebrities from the Mighty
  Morphin Power Rangers to Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder guide fledgling
  programmers through common tasks such as creating an event loop or
  implementing graceful error handling. The interface of Multimedia
  C++ uses the latest in 3-D technology to provide fully-rendered
  and anti-aliased function templates, and its code-optimization
  routines are uniquely intuitive (a secondary window is displayed,
  and the faster your code scrolls by, the faster it's running).
  Taking advantage of Macintosh Drag and Drop technology, Multimedia
  C++ allows users to simply drag syntax errors to the trash. "Sure
  beats looking it up in a manual," said one beta tester. "I
  probably didn't need that code anyway."

  UrbanWerks says the suggested price of the Multimedia C++ CD-ROM
  is $299.95, with a special six-player network edition retailing
  for $499.95 (includes ADB game controller adapter for Sega and
  Nintendo systems).

    UrbanWerks -- <info@urbanwerks.com>


SimWord
-------
  by Tonya Engst <tonya@tidbits.com>

  Frankly, I'm bored with the current crop of word processors. They
  all have more features than my vintage 1985 copy of MacWrite, and
  in that ten year interim, few of the new features make it easier
  to figure out what to write. With the exception of a few
  children's products, none of them have a sense of fun or
  exploration, although Word 6.0's 3,634 commands sometimes provide
  an acute sense of disorientation and frustration.

  I can no longer sleep properly - my dreams are twisted by my
  love-hate relationship with Word 5's Outline View, and constantly
  interrupted with fearful visions of Nisus Writer's Macros menu
  droppping down out of my monitor to the office floor, through the
  basement, and burrowing into the earth, never to be seen again.
  Writers of the world unite! I propose a new breed of word
  processors, a breed with spirit, soul, and simplicity. Maxis, are
  you listening? I want SimWord.

  SimWord is a new concept in word processing, and it turns writing
  into a game. When you launch SimWord to start a new document, you
  choose from options such as Novel, Essay, Humor, Technical, Short
  Story, and Poetry. The interface features one palette, whose
  buttons are large, labeled, and have nifty pictures on them, so
  it's easy to discern one button from the other.


**Disasters** -- To get started with your document, you first
  choose what kinds of Disasters you want. Disasters add that random
  human element to your writing that computers otherwise have such
  trouble emulating. You can go for a simple Quotation Storm that
  randomly inserts quotes from George Will in your document. Or, you
  might choose Flooding, which arbitrarily adjusts your words (using
  the thesaurus to make sure they still mean the same thing) so that
  the rivers (vertical white space) in your document become large
  and unsightly. If you are the sort who likes to occasionally throw
  out your whole document and start fresh, you might turn on the
  Volcano disaster - the special sounds and visuals are just
  wonderful, but the clean-up time afterwards could make you miss
  your deadline.


**Zoning** -- After you set up your disasters, you use railroad
  tracks (much like Word's section breaks or Nisus Writer's and
  MacWrite's rulers) to separate your document into sections and
  zone them for different activities. For example, you might have
  Introduction, Credits, Summary, Basic Text, and so on. SimWord
  comes with about 50 possible zones, but the architecture of the
  program is such that third-parties can come out with their own.

  Once you zone your document, you must create an environment
  conducive to words staying in the zone where you type them. This
  is where the strategy comes in, because if you type text in a zone
  where it feels uncomfortable, it will migrate to a different zone.
  The migration animation is terrific, so if you aren't in a rush,
  it's worth ignoring strategy for a while. To see an example, type
  "bus" - without the quotes - in a freshly zoned Introduction.
  Unless the title of your document has something to do with travel
  or transportation, the three characters in bus morph into a neon
  green school bus with lots of stuck-on decals, and complete with
  engine noises, the school bus moves into the Body section, squeals
  to a halt, lets ten kids of the bus, and morphs back into the word
  "bus." The names of the kids who got off the bus also appear in
  the Body section. You can turn off the sounds if you find them too
  distracting.

  If you create a sufficiently conducive environment through well-
  thought out titles, carefully crafted sentences, and the like,
  SimWord will generate words and move them into your document. In
  effect, the program will start writing for you. Once generated
  words start moving into your zones, you can go have a cup of
  coffee and find your work nearly done when you return, though if
  you use a 68000 machine like the SE, you may have to go have a
  proper meal.


**Congestion** -- The more trouble you have putting words in the
  right zones, the more they migrate to other zones, and the more
  likely you are to have traffic control problems. The problems can
  be somewhat alleviated by using the Cross-Reference command. It
  works like a Star Trek-style transporter, and words that are
  cross-referenced can quickly move between zones outside of the
  normal flow of traffic. If traffic conditions become untenable,
  the words request an airport so that phrases that just aren't
  working out can leave, and replacements can be flown in. I've
  found that erecting Stadiums in the different zones also helps,
  because it gives the words a higher quality-of-life and makes them
  more likely to stick around. If you don't pay sufficient attention
  to the quality of life, your writing will lean more and more
  toward the style of Dostoevsky. A unpleasant side effect is that
  your document will gain an additional 500 pages, mostly composed
  of turgid conversation interspersed with lots of Russian names.


**Corruption** -- To prevent your document from becoming
  corrupted, you must keep the financial situation under control.
  Each zone can have a Commissioner, and you use the Insert
  Commissioner command to add a Commissioner. Without a
  Commissioner, the zone becomes a black market. Black markets
  encourage informal trading, which can cause real problems because
  your words will trade characters with each other. Some words will
  be better traders than others, so you'll end up with lots of two-
  and three-character words limping along and other words that get
  so long and powerful that they start making their own zones,
  called Criminal Zones, where stray words are killed and stripped
  of their vowels. Norton Utilities sometimes can delete a Criminal
  Zone, but other times the corruption is so bad that you must copy
  and paste the good zones into a new document. Commissioners must
  be paid for, and you must set the salary such that you attract and
  keep honest Commissioners.


**Ratings** -- As a replacement to the old-style word processor
  ratings boxes that tell your word count, passive verb count, grade
  level count, and white blood cell count, SimWord puts up a ratings
  box where your words rate you on how much they like your document.
  Ratings are based on how much corruption your words perceive, how
  much they like their zones, and so on. You must pay close
  attention to your ratings at all times so you know where to
  allocate more money or where to tighten up your prose. SimWord
  retains the Flesch Reading Ease rating, and if it falls too low,
  corruption increases, as does government rhetoric.


**Filters** -- SimWord has import filters for most known word
  processors, and any feature that a filter doesn't understand gets
  turned into an Additional Reading zone. Future versions of SimWord
  will output directly to HTML, although the quality of the HTML
  code is directly linked to your ratings, once again. If the words
  aren't happy, your HTML document will be strewn with  tags
  and probably won't display properly in anything but an old alpha
  of Netscape.

  My publisher has already expressed interest in any books I write
  with SimWord, just so long as I stay away from the Volcano and
  Earthquake disasters when I'm within a week of deadline.


Newt's Grand Old Party
----------------------
  by Hubert "Vince" Fournier, Special to TidBITS

  In a move sure to spark some serious competition, Los Angeles-
  based Guzzlers, Inc., announced the release of Grand 'Ol Party
  0.93b1 for Newton, billed as the world's only continuous, real-
  time guide to the Los Angeles party and entertainment scene.


**Global Positioning Technology** -- Grand 'Ol Party (GOP) is a
  Newton application that uses a PCMCIA-based Global Positioning
  System (GPS) transceiver to ascertain the user's location at any
  given time. With that information, GOP uses a PCMCIA-based
  cellular modem to access partyMCI, a commercial service that
  maintains an up-to-the-minute database of all "recreational
  gatherings" throughout the greater Los Angeles area. "You know,
  all the big celebrities have been subscribing to this service
  since, like, you know, Day One," said Bob "Spaz" Hubbard,
  Guzzler's President, CEO, and self-styled cyber-rocker. "How else
  do you think they know, like, what Oscar parties to go to, man?
  They have an inside source!" Spaz whips out his Newton. "Now, I
  just say 'Hey, Newton, where's the good stuff happening?' and it
  draws me a map! Is that **cool,** man, or what?!"


**Filters and Intelligent Agents** -- But GOP is more than a road
  map to the nearest party. "Like, GOP tells you whether you
  **want** to go to a party or not, which is totally important."
  Tapping an individual party listing presents detailed information
  about the gathering. A star-rating system indicates the number and
  relative importance of celebrities in attendance - four stars
  indicates a gathering of Hollywood royalty, "but, like, half a
  star probably means Kato Kaelin's there." Users can edit their
  preferences to give more or less weight to individual
  personalities. "Like, I've got Alice Cooper **totally** cranked up
  'cause he's way rad, but I don't want to be partying with Jay
  Leno, understand?" says Spaz. Other user preferences include
  adding more weight to parties with high alcohol consumption ("see
  the little keg icons?"), upscale gatherings, live bands,
  controlled substances, hot babes, or hot tubs. Other information
  available through GOP includes movie premieres, concerts, and
  bingo tournaments in Toronto. ("That's a bug - that'll be fixed
  when we ship.")

  GOP also integrates with the Newton's built-in address book so you
  can get in touch with all your party-going friends "in case you
  need to bum a ride or something."


**Future Directions** -- Spaz notes the possibilities for GOP are
  daunting. "We're, like, working with partyMCI to get more
  information on the parties, like playlists for the bands and
  stuff, and whether there's anything to eat." Another future
  feature is something called AutoCab. "Like, when, you know, you've
  had a little too much of the good stuff, your Newton will call a
  cab for you and put your home address on the screen so, like, you
  don't goof up and get dropped off at your mother's or something.
  Our beta testers have had some problems with that." The feature
  won't be in the 1.0 release because the PCMCIA Breathalizer cards
  aren't expected to be on the market until third quarter of this
  year. "But when they're ready, we'll be there, man."

  "One mondo problem is that GPS is, like, only accurate to a few
  hundred feet sometimes," Spaz notes.. "When you're **really** out
  of it, man, those few hundred feet can make the difference between
  getting to a party or not! Uncool!" Spaz also notes other regional
  markets are prime candidates for GOP. "I mean, if I'm in New
  Orleans for Mardi Gras, right, this ain't gonna help. Personally,
  I don't travel much because of that, but, like, I can see how
  other people might want to go other places sometimes."

  Nonetheless, Grand 'Ol Party is a compelling product. "Apple
  expects Newton will go through the roof when we ship," says Spaz.
  "Like, it's hard to find a metalhead anymore that's not looking up
  a cool party, or beaming his party preferences to his friends." At
  an estimated retail price over $3,000 - including Newton,
  necessary accessories, and the GOP software - GOP is only for
  serious partiers. But Spaz predicts the product will catch on.
  "Car thefts are way up since we announced this man. All that
  money's gotta be going somewhere!"

  [We'd give you a URL, but all the details on Grand 'Ol Party can
  be found in Wired's cover story this month. What, you don't read
  Wired? -Geoff]

    Guzzlers, Inc. -- <dudes@partyon.com>


Reviews/01-Apr-95
-----------------

* Soldier of Fortune -- 01-Apr-95, Vol. 56, #3
    Spaceward Ho! 4.0 -- pg. 23
    Galactic Conquest 3.2 -- pg. 24
    Marathon -- pg. 24

* UTNE Reader -- 01-Apr-95, Vol. 5, #2
    Adult CD-ROMs -- pg. 322
      (too many to list)

* Vogue -- 01-Apr-95, Vol 64, #4
    Mac Makeup -- pg. 277
    DietNow! -- pg. 82

* Harpers -- 01-Apr-95, Vol. 22, #4
    Political Simulations -- pg. 35
      Sim Beavis and Butthead II 1.2
      Sim Bush
      Sim Jesse
      Sim Scandal


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